Category Archives: Healthy Lifestyle

Never Stop Fighting

My mom passed away 4 years ago and since then my life has been a mess. I gained 40 pounds, moved out of state (TX to MN), and was in a relationship that sucked every piece of energy out of me for 3 years.
The last 6 months of my moms life became more and more about caring for her and less caring for myself. I remember giving up on trying to lose weight. She said she wanted to see my skinny. After early mornings and late nights on top of working a full-time job I had no energy to care for myself.
After my mom passed I didn’t know what to do. I suddenly had all the time in the world, but couldn’t do anything with it. Six months later I moved to Minnesota. My father and stepmom helped move me here and after they left I started crying. I wondered who was going to tell me what to do lol. I was 31 and never made a decision without someone’s approval. I’m the baby girl. Everyone was protective of me. I was told no a lot growing up while everyone else was told yes. My siblings were stronger than me. Including my younger brother. He told me he felt like he was my older brother. So that is why I moved. To find my strength and to learn to take care of myself.
November 2011 I meet a guy. He’s short (I’m 5’8 and he’s probably 5’7), but good looking and seems nice. Nothing was right about this relationship. Too much happened in the 3 years we were together to write here, but let’s just say I was not taking care of myself. This is when I gained the last 25 of the 40. He has moved back to his home state so we are not together, but I hear from occasionally. I am now free to care for myself.
Self care is hard when you’ve never been taught. I had undiagnosed depression for 24 years. I was diagnosed just before my mom passed. I have no desire to take prescription drugs. I did that and I don’t think it helped at all. It’s a bandaid. My goal is to naturally heal myself of depression, get off blood pressure meds, and to have a healthy body. Not really looking for a number, but a feeling. I want to feel great and be in love with my body and myself.
I have to take time for me now. I’m fighting for my life. You must never stop fighting.


Weight Loss Rollercoaster


Weight loss and literally been a rollercoaster for me. Have you had weeks were you are doing well and one day out of the weekend ruins all of your efforts? This happens to me often. I had a good week and went a little overboard on Saturday. It is 1:14AM Sunday as I write this and I’m like “why did you do that?” Now I have to spend all week to lose what I may have gained from that one day. I am be a little hard on myself. I know I shouldn’t do that.

This journey isn’t easy. We have to learn to be gentle with ourselves and know that mistakes happen. Choices and being prepared can help make these mistakes less likely to occur. I know my biggest mistake isn’t what I ate, but that I didn’t prepare. I left home without eating breakfast and after being out all day I was hungry. I bought and ate what ever. I had things at home, but again not having those foods prepped and ready to make a meal made me less likely to eat those foods.

I don’t like the rollercoaster ride. I’m getting off and going straight to…I don’t know the rollercoaster equivalent to planning, but that’s what I will do. Monday through Friday is usually not an issue for. It’s the weekends that I struggle with. Tomorrow I will buy my groceries (instead of going to see another movie. I’m addicted) and prepping my foods. This will including cleaning the fridge and getting rid of anything that needs to be tossed. By doing this when I open the fridge I see possibilities instead of food that is no longer edible (yuck lol).

Have you recognized triggers that cause temporary setbacks in your goals? What do you do to get out of it? Please share your experience in the comments.