for the next 20 days i will be writing random post. i’m trying to develop the habit of posting more often and this challenge provided by wordpress is what i will be using to help me. below is day 1. thanks for reading.
feeling frustrated and stuck. i don’t really want to write about negative things. we have enough of that in our personal lives that no one wants to read about it on a blog, but as a lifestyle blogger that is what is going on in my life. a bf who i am not sure is being genuine. he could be using me like he has others. though he is trying to do better i still pull most of the weight. speaking of weight i’m trying to lose some. more than some. about 5 or 6 years ago i lost 75lbs. my doctor told me i was morbidly obese and i had high cholesterol. i changed my eating habits and started walking. after the loss of a coworker who became my friend, two grandmothers, and my mom i gained the weight back. i’ve lost all drive for life and struggle to get it back. i moved away from home which may not have helped, but i at times enjoy my new surroundings. i find myself constantly doing for others or what others need/expect of me. i feel guilty for thinking of myself. i don’t like my job since they made me change roles, but i’m not 100% sure what i want to do. i find myself thinking how much i dont want to be my mother instead of just trying to be me. i don’t know who me is other than what i don’t want me to be. i’m not sure how well i am doing at not being what i don’t want to be lol.
i have figured out a little bit about who i want to be. i am working towards becoming vegan. i’ve already cut out a lot of meat and working on dairy. after being in toastmasters i found that i enjoy communicating, having new experiences and sharing what i learn with others. i am going to school for my bachelor of arts in communications. i will be a juinor in july. this will be my first degree and the farthest i have gotten in college. i want to do branding and and be a social media strategist. i love social media and the new and interesting ways to learn about so many things. i sometimes give advice to my sister about her business as far as social media (it’s a new business), but she doesn’t always listen to me. i hope to gain some experience to help businesses that need it. what also started this was i wanted to use some volunteer hours to help with social media for non-profits. most of them wanted someone with SMS experience. i have none, but i really would like to help one day so here i am going to school. i am aslo reading books and researching to learn and gain experience. i have a few other ideas, but i’m not ready to share them yet.